Employment

Well- after many months, I have finally found a new job. It's classified as seasonal- and I'm sure it will be part-time- but it's work! I am also trying to get one other part-time job at Regal Cinemas, so I might be able to actually make ends meet, instead of always being behind the 8 ball. I am working at JoAnn Fabrics- a bit like a fox guarding the henhouse! Mama told me I mustn't buy all the fabric in the store- what fun is that?? Seriously- I have promised myself I will not buy more fabric until I use/finish some of the projects I have! At last count I think I have nearly 20+ projects- some already begun, some in idea stage...sheesh! I need to get busy and make some of my cone puppets to sell at a Christmas bazaar that a girlfriend has a booth in...shouldn't be hard to get a bunch done- it's just having the discipline to do it. And why is it that I've had all this time to get things done- ie: the garage- and yet- now that I am once again employed, now is when I want to accomplish it?? I have put it off so long...I guess because it is so daunting a task. SO much to go through, give away, sell...and I seriously hate to give up my things- a never-ending sore point with Terry and I. I think that was one of the things that contributed to his leaving me- he is very anal about neatness and no clutter- and I collect...
Since writing my last missive I have two new grandbabies- Master Owyn Timothy and MIss Addylin Jolene. They are very beautiful babies...You can definitely tell Owyn and Honorae are full brother and sister, being fair skinned and blonde. Addylin remains to be seen, still growing into her looks. I am very excited, since I will get to see Dan, Amber and the kids for Thanksgiving- although now with this job I will be working the day after, and won't have as much time with them as previously hoped. But I know they will understand. Now that I am connected ethereally I will try to keep my blog up-to-date...

Oyster

Like an oyster, I cover my wounds with nacre

Polishing, shining that which hurts me

Giving over to pain is not my wish,

I push aside the old pearl and create a new, smaller pearl

Hiding them deep within

Loss of a beloved companion

I don't know where to begin...Friday, March 6th started well. Barnabas and I got up, after sleeping in a little later than normal and began our day. Coffee for me, a quick trip out back for him and breakfast. We dithered around- I had to re-clean some spots on the carpet in the dining room...I had steam-cleaned the carpets after Jamie moved out, but still had some areas not to my liking. Checked my checking account and found out my income tax had come in- Wheee! So off we flew to pay the rent...my trusty little Scotty and I. There is a park near the property management office, so I decided we'd check it out. Met two new friends, checked all the available peepee spots and then made our way home. Shortly after getting home, Bobo ate his food, drank some water and wanted to be let out- so I did. Let him in shortly after- only to have him want out less than 10 minutes later. ?? I grumbled, what's your matter,little man? Watched him a minute- he seemed to have trouble getting down the slight step, both from inside the house and from the deck to the grass- then he wandered over and seemed to piddle. Then wandered to another spot and tried to piddle...he seemed a little wobbly, but I didn't think much of it. After what seemed like a long time, I checked on him. He looked again like he was trying to piddle, staring off into space. I called him to me, and ruffled his fur, noticing his tummy seemed awfully taut- so I picked him up and put him in his favorite spot on the couch. Some time later, after I had fixed my dinner, I noticed he wasn't on the couch, but had moved over next to the craft room on his pillow there. He had vomited up what looked to be everything in his tummy, and in general looked like a sad puppy. I checked him over and left him to lay there. When I checked about 45 minutes later, he had moved into the doorway of another room, so I picked him up and brought him to lay next to me. I was really worried by this time and called my Mom. She suggested I take his temperature- which I did- and which he didn't even flinch at my doing. It was under normal for his breed, so Mama said to keep an eye on him, and let her know. Well, his breath was kind labored, so I was keeping an ear out. Suddenly, I noticed it had slowed and I reached down for him, but he wasn't responsive. I dialed the nearest emergency vet, then Mama and flew out of there like my tail was on fire. I swear, I was taking corners like they weren't there and I was doing 70MPH on the Parkway! I apologize to those poor people I tailgated- but my boy was dying! Unfortunately, by the time I made it to the vet's he had succumbed.
I am numb, and unable to return to the house I once called home. Barnabas helped me get on with my life after Terry left me...kept me laughing when all was dire. I've been staying with my Mama and am able to be near Barnabas' mother, Mackenzie, who at 12 1/2YRS, is deaf as a post and nearly blind. But she snuffles and talks like he did and in some small measure is helping me deal with his loss. I buried him less than 100 yards from where he was born...and covered him with a rock cairn. I found the perfect 'tail stone'- it sticks up just like his tail when he was happy! After laying all the stone and sifting dirt down between the stones, I was cleaning up and realized that how I had laid them out looks like a dog laying with his head on his paws- tail in the air! _) :') Mama and I will be putting some forget-me-nots around his grave and some sweet allisium...I'm thinking lots of purple and white flowers...

My mother was mentioning Barnabas' death to Mackenzie's vet tech and she said it sounded to her like something called stomach torsion. While it is rare in Scottish terriers, it can happen, and makes sense, given his symptoms. Typically, an animal's stomach will bloat, then somehow get twisted...they are unable to burp or pass gas, so they try to throw up to expel the gas. If nothing is done quickly then the stomach tissue begins to die, and surrounding organs are affected as well. They begin to stumble, and become disoriented. If taken to a vet, they can sometimes 'draw off' the gas from the stomach, then do surgery to correct the twisted stomach. Unfortunately, many dogs will die on the table- and many more will die within the following 2-3 days. So, while I am somewhat relieved to have an explanation, it still does not temper my grief.
Deschutes Beggar Boy- known to many as BARNABAS and others as Barney- I will miss you the rest of my days.

Roomate search- again

So a week ago my current roommate finally told me he's moving out- in ten days! WTF!?? Not only will that leave me stranded monetarily for this month- he owes me back rent, as well as utilities for this month! Crap. I sent a nicely worded reminder of his obligations, set out in an Excel format, listing costs and payments. I adjusted what he owes for the last month's rent he paid on moving in and he still owes me $403! (not including the utilities) No word from him yet about how he plans to pay me...and still...
As I was heading into my room the other night I overhear (he's talking loud enough for me to hear through a closed door) that he has asked his new girlfriend to marry him, and is planning to do the whole formal proposal at an SCA event we were planning on attending. Not only does he owe me money- he has used the money he owes me to buy her an engagement ring! GRRRRR. Now I am angry- why does he feel it is alright to screw me this way? And why am I trying to continue to be civil to this troll? This will be the third roommate that has screwed me over-do I have that tattoed on my forehead??
One nice thing- nearly a year ago one of my bad teeth began aching so hard I could scarcely see straight- hurt for over a month. I was eating aspirin like they were mints... friends gave me drugs for pain (oxycodone) and still it hurt. Finally the pain dulled to an occassional twinge. I no longer chew hard things on that side. I am continually digging food particles out of the pocket- and it's exacerbated by the fact that I also have a bad tooth on the opposite side, bottom. That tooth thankfully has had a root canal, so it doesn't hurt- just irritates me. I'm constantly worrying the edges of the teeth with my tongue, and I'm sure my breathe is not as sweet as it could be. I had called last year when I was in pain for a free dental clinic- only to be put on a waiting list- and then told there wasn't going to be room for me. I was given a number to call, but by that time, it had quit hurting- so you know the drill. No hurt- no call! Doesn't mean I still don't want it out of my head! Well- last night I got a call from a free dental clinic to be held this coming Sunday- Squeee! I will finally be able to get these damn things out of my head- or filled- or whatever! Yea!
Well- off to fill out more job applications. A girlfriend has recommended me for a position where she works- she an in-home care person- and with my experience in an adult foster care home, I think I could be an option. But you can't get hired if you don't turn in the app! :) I'm also finally going to get my new (to me) computer set up. Now- to breathe...

History in the making

I am sitting today watching Barack Hussein Obama being sworn into office as the 44th President of the greatest nation on earth. I have high hopes for his 'tour of duty', for I am sure, after the glitter rubs off, he will feel like he's in a war zone. Odd thoughts pervade my mind...what are his children thinking? If I were his wife, I would have to have a make-up person there all day, since I'd be crying the whole day! (happiness does that sometimes) How does the moving in/out happen? Is everything packed from the Bushes and a packing crew starts at first light, hauling everything out? Then the trucks roll up and start unpacking the Obamas? Wow- can you imagine? And where did the president-elect and his family spend the night before Inauguration Day?
I was witness to the murder of a President and the aftermath, the murder of a charismatic 'Negro' leader (at the time that is what blacks were called), the burning of bras and now- amazingly- a future with a black American President. I am in awe, and am filled with faith in the American dream. We are a wondrous country, filled with talent and drive. President Obama spoke of having hope and virtue and braving the icy currents. The next few months, nay years, will be filled with tribulations and he will be beset with solving problems not of his making. My wish for him is the ability to have the best advisers- not just yes-men- but people willing to stand up and tell him what they believe- people that will have the faith of their convictions- and that he can trust to help him forge a new path for America to walk. My wish for him is the ability to see a path through the barriers and guide us safely into prosperity and freedom. My wish is for his family to comfort him and sustain him through these next hard years.

Quidvis Recte Factum Quamvis Humile Praeclarum

"Whatever is rightly done, however humble, is noble."

Blessings on you and America, President Barack Obama.

A new secret

It's not much of a secret- I am a packrat. What is the secret is that I like order to my chaos! Crazy, huh? I will not abide downright dirt, and hate filth. My roommate is not of the same mind, however. His room is an open Petri dish, and it makes my skin crawl. There are dishes and glasses and empty soda bottles all over his room and you have to wade through garbage to get into the room! It was specifically written into his contract with me that his room and bathroom be maintained. How does one nag an apparent adult to clean his freakin' room?? I have tried the casual references to the mess (I can't find any of his daughter's clothes in it) I have told him straight out, I have done it myself! Do I show him the clause in his contract? The same nagging issue goes for the backyard poop brigade...I do all the lawn maintenance- mowing, trimming, gardening- how fucking hard is it to pick up the dog shit once a week? I let it go when the snow was hip deep- but it's thawed now and he can bloody well clean the shit UP!
Yeah, yeah- my garage needs a back hoe to get into- and yeah, one of these days I'll get to it. BUT THAT'S THE GARAGE! ONE IS NOT LIVING IN THE GARAGE!! Sheesh...

New Year and another year older

Well- it official. I'm 'over-the-hill' and sliding down the backside! :) Recently celebrated the 30th Anniversary of my 21st birthday- spent the day as ward to a friend's son who is under house arrest and watching the roomie's daughter. Since he works at night, when I'm usually home to watch her, I kinda had to take her too. Whew! Both youngsters are OCD/ADHD...and I'm exhausted!
Had my 'squee' moment for the year...shopping at JoAnn Fabrics for embroidery floss. While looking at the various shades, a man bops around the aisle and starts looking at the dyes. He's sort of doing the same thing I am- squatting down, checking out the different ones, mumbling to himself. His phone vibrates and he answers, talks to someone then says- as he clicks it shut- "Don't you hate it when people call you from inside the store?" I kind of laughed and said "Well- that's why I don't have a cell phone! No phone- no bother!" Keep shopping...a minute later a woman comes down the aisle and he says, "Hi Mom!" They start to talk about the project he's working on, and while I'm not actively trying to listen- it's hard to miss. I make my selection and as I stand to leave, say "I don't mean to be nosy- but what are you working on?" He tells me Ghilly suits, which he learned to make in the service. We chat a minute, and I tell him I'm in a medieval reenactment group and always interested in men crafting and sewing, so was being nosy. He stands up and introduces himself, and in doing so tells me I'm a very beautiful woman and am I from around here? Well- of course I'm flattered, and thank him, telling him it was to be my birthday the next day and that he has made my year! He was flirting like mad, and while normally I would have given him an SCA card (since he seemed interested) I didn't- not wanting to seem like a cougar! LOL! Ah well- it'll be a good tale to tell! (and yes- he was good looking!)